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| 04/09/09 OK, I’m back. Physically, at least. It’s been an extremely difficult transition back to the real world. I think I’ve decided that I’d rather live off the grid and just surf. Vinnie, as usual, is light years ahead of me and has already got this figured out for himself. I’m nowhere near as enterprising, so as a result I’ve been scanning Craigslist for any rich families looking for someone to be their Trustafarian. I’d be great at it. I’m firmly convinced that nobody could squander a family fortune, or waste life doing nothing, better than I could. I’d really like it to be old money, too. It would be supremely satisfying to surf away all of the money great-grandfather made during the industrial revolution with his patent on sock elastic. I must confess I do feel a certain sense of urgency to sign on because my receding hairline and bald spot in the back are starting to interfere with my ability to grow a convincing array of dreadlocks. So far, no luck on Craigslist. I’ll keep you posted. Since this is a blog about surfing here, on the east side of the river, on the East Coast of the U.S., I’ll not go into any details about how great the surf is down in Costa Rica, the scenery, the food, the people and all that other blah blah that friends prattle on endlessly about when they return from a surf trip. It’s too depressing anyway. If you’ve never been, just go yourself and soak it all up; and if you’ve been there, you know what I mean. So I’ll mention a couple of things that are maybe on the outside of what you normally hear. First is the plight of the howler monkeys. We were lucky enough to stay in a place on the second floor, which put us up in the treetops and we could observe the local troupe at eye level. So we really got into their daily routines and got a little better understanding of their comings and goings. Pretty cool animals from a distance. But we didn’t act like stupid tourists and try to feed them bananas or something, because they also look fully capable of ripping your lips and eyelids off. The bummer is that because Costa Rica is developing rapidly, electrical lines are being strung everywhere and the monkeys think they can be used to get from one place to another. As a result, a bunch of them get killed or maimed every day. I believe that Costa Rica has lost 50% of its monkey population in about 10 years. It’s a losing battle, and people like me are part of the problem. So if you go there, or anywhere else that is relatively undeveloped, think of your impact and try to give something back. If you’re interested in helping out down in C.R., the folks at www.nosarawildlife.com can use it.
The other thing that bears a mention is that Delta Airlines has lost their collective mind. When Vinnie and I got to the airport we were informed that the new fee for carrying a surfboard is $300 one-way. So, unless you get that job as a Trustafarian, that’s $600 round-trip. Which is more than I paid for my ticket. It’s one of the few times in my life when I’ve seen Vinnie speechless. We just looked at each other, shrugged and laid down the plastic. What are you going to do at that point? Certainly not abandon the board I had shaped for this very purpose. So we both together paid $1200 for two surfboards. Even now, when I’m writing this, it makes me want to hurl. When I got home I called Delta, and it went something like this:
So here’s what I think we’ll do on our next trip: We’ll bring a couple of hunting rifles, compound bows and pistols with silencers on ’em. Then we’ll hurl ourselves around the jungle on vaulting poles blowing the hell out of anything that moves. Throw in a couple of bottles of Guaro and it’s bound to become a new Olympic sport. And the equipment won’t cost us a dime. |
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