By Barbara Poole

Lisa was a woman on a mission. When she first sought coaching she made it perfectly clear that what she wanted help with was attaining a senior leadership position with the pharmaceutical company she has worked for the past 15 years.

Not one to mince words, she acknowledged in no uncertain terms that she was tired of waiting for a promotion to one of the coveted senior roles, and she needed guidance in how to best navigate the system to get there.

Lisa’s stress level around her goal of promotion was just palpable. It was clear she had so single-mindedly taken on the pursuit of this promotion that she didn’t realize that it was making her miserable in the process. She also didn’t realize that her being in that mode was actually turning off the very people she so hoped to impress.

At first, like many people in this situation, Lisa didn’t want to hear that she needed to stop trying to play people like pawns on a chessboard and shift her focus to what was going on inside of herself. However, after several attempts to be considered for key openings that occurred, she reluctantly agreed to try to drop her guard and take a long look in the mirror.

What Lisa found there has made all the difference. She has chosen to revamp her career objectives and has accepted a specialist role in the marketing department of her company, where she has no direct reports and can devote all of her time to leveraging the product and industry knowledge she has accumulated over the years. More importantly, she leaves the office every afternoon at a decent hour and with a smile on her face, and goes home to join her husband on a bike ride or a leisurely stroll around the neighborhood.

How did this shift happen? Quite simply, when Lisa finally decided to shift her lens from what was happening outside of herself in the political landscape of the organization to what was going on inside that was making her so frustrated, she realized that her professional aspirations didn’t really match what mattered most to her.

In an effort to claw her way to the top, Lisa had lost sight of her core values and needs, and become a hollow person who was alienating others left and right. Once she realized this, she was able to shift gears and find a new level of alignment between who she is and what she is doing professionally.

How do you go about building your own self-awareness? Take some time to systematically consider these steps that will help you take inventory of what’s going on inside:

1. Get clear on what’s really driving you. The ancient mystic poet Rumi said, “I should be suspicious of what I want.” Truth is, all of us should be, because we allow ourselves to be seduced by big money, the right cars, a corner office, and a host of other things that may have nothing to do with what will generate true happiness. Take inventory of your core values, wants, needs, desires and motivations. And every time you identify an element on the list, ask yourself why that really matters.

2. Understand where you are in your career lifecycle and your personal stage of development. What matters to you will change over the course of your lifetime. The 20s are all about learning and amassing knowledge and skill. The decade of the 30s is typically the “climbing years”, and the 40s is where mastery begins to be achieved. Those in their 50s often experience a delicious sense of wisdom and a desire to slow down the pace and savor.

As you plan your next career move, consider where you are and what matters to the stage you are currently in, as well as where you will be headed next.

3. Assess your emotional and social intelligence. Because we live in an interactive world, awareness of emotions, both your own and others’, is a key component to calibrating your professional development. How do you recognize your own emotions? How do they impact upon you?

4. Get feedback. Part of being self-aware is to understand how we are viewed by others. Gathering information on how you are perceived by key people in your world can be done informally, in conversation, or in a more structured way using a 360° feedback process.

5. Make a lifelong commitment to self-development. Growing the self is a continuous process, not something that you can handle by going off to the occasional seminar and forgetting about what you’re experiencing in between.

Shakespeare said, “To thine own self be true.” Pave the way for that kind of authentic living by intentionally expanding your own self-awareness. It just may be the most important thing you will ever do for yourself or your career.

Barbara Poole is a leadership and career development coach with Success Builders Inc. E-mail her at coachbarbara@successbuildersinc.com.

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