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Analyze your thought process to achieve a positive attitude
Sales Moves
By Jeffrey Gitomer
The other day, I said something negative. Not a big deal. I was expressing my disappointment about someone’s less-than-friendly service. What made me do it? Was it based on my feelings at that moment, or did other thoughts and circumstances cause my response?
Clearly, it was a choice; a spur-of-the-moment choice, to be sure, but a choice, nevertheless.
If I have a choice between negative and positive, why wouldn’t I pick positive every time? Why wouldn’t you?
It is a complex issue. I realized that the words I speak are the last item in my thought process (actually my response process) before I respond to what has been said or done to me.
You may simply think of it as a verbal exchange. But if you do, you have no chance of understanding what a positive attitude, based on positive thought, is really about.
Secret: A positive attitude is not positive or negative words. It is everything behind them, everything that caused them and every subconscious action that created them.
Think about the way you formulate words and phrases. Do they have a pattern? Are they always positive, always negative or a mixed bag? My guess is a mixed bag. If you are striving for a positive attitude, the mix should weigh toward the positive everyday. The goal should be to eliminate the negative as often as possible.
Easy on the surface, but it is much more thought provoking as you get into the detail.
As I thought about why words happen, I wrote down the circumstantial and environmental influences that generate the spoken word.
Here are the elements that influence and create what you say, positive or negative. Your job is to consider these one by one and to make positive verbal choices.
1. Surroundings: where you live or work; how the environment affects your thoughts.
2. Relationships: associations that influence you and your thinking.
3. Beliefs: what you know to be true.
4. Experiences: similar things that happened in the past.
5. Situations: influential things happening to you.
6. Feelings: your feelings about the situation.
7. Circumstances: the circumstances right now.
8. Status at the moment: your present state of mind.
9. Thoughts: your immediate thoughts.
9.5 Words: what you say as a result of all of the above.
Until now, I am sure you never gave much thought to what causes you to say what you say.
It is not the other guy’s attitude; it is not the other guy’s words or responses; it is a combination of past experiences, the present situation and mental choices. While that may sound abstract, it is the basis for a positive attitude.
When you are able to harness each of the elements, you can convert your thoughts from negative to positive—before you say one word.
You say what you say because you don’t consider how your environmental and sociological circumstances actually impact word choices.
Word choices determine how others perceive you (nice person, mean person, blah person, etc.).
Now what? You have the information, but you will be the same person tomorrow as you are today—unless you begin the process of self-evaluation through self-awareness.
Every time you speak negative words, stop and write down what caused your negative thoughts.
For example, you take your car to the dealer for a warranty repair. The service manager informs you that your warranty has expired. He also tells you that if you had bought the extended warranty, you would have been covered, but now you will have to pay double. This infuriates you, and you respond in a negative manner.
Did the service manager cause the negative response? Or did your thoughts on the way over to the dealership about how much problem the car has been, or other incidents of lousy service, or perhaps you need a car by a certain time to take your spouse shopping, influence your negative response?
Another secret: This is not an easy process, and not many people have positive attitudes. (Could there be a correlation between those two statements?)
If you commit 90 days to discover where your words come from, you will have the best opportunity to spend your next 9,000 days in the positive zone.
Wishing you a good today and a better day tomorrow.
Jeffrey Gitomer, author of The Sales Bible and The Little Red Book of Selling, is the president of Charlotte-based Buy Gitomer. E-mail him at salesman@gitomer.com.
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